Peace & Quiet
…oh, how I miss it! I used to really enjoy just sitting in a quiet house, with the absence of sound. I’m sure there were sounds there but with my level of hearing loss, I didn’t hear them. It was just nice, peaceful and relaxing. Around here, the phenomenon of a quiet house didn’t happen often but when it did, I always enjoyed it.
Now, there is never silence. It’s like I’m living inside a noise machine all day and evening long. The only break I get is when I’m sleeping. All day, constantly, my head is filled with noise. Twittering, whistling, roaring, beeping, whooshing…I hear pipe organs, engines revving, phones dialing, modems booting up, ghostly moans and sounds like a UFO is landing on my lawn.
When I first lost my hearing, I welcomed the tinnitus because at least I was “hearing” something. Anything. It kept me from panicking completely. But now…well, it’s been over a month. I’m a little tired of this crazy racket my hearing nerves are producing. I know I can’t escape it so I try not to dwell on it and frustrate myself. But geez! A little peace and quiet, please?! What I wouldn’t give to be able to put in my hearing aids like I used to, turn them on and “hear” the tinnitus fade away.
Is it crazy to say that when (when, not if!) I get my cochlear implant, the first thing I’m going to look forward to and hope for is some blessed silence?! I wonder if that’s how it works. On activation day, does the tinnitus disappear when you’re wearing the CI?