Love Is in the Air
Posted by wendiwendy
I finally found it! A couple years back I was trying to find this little post Dave wrote about how we met. I used to have a personal webpage (back before blogs existed) and this was a link on the site called “Our Love Story”. I kept meaning to post it here so you all could hear Dave’s ‘voice’ as well and, try as I might, I just couldn’t find it anywhere on my computer. In the process of searching through all the old emails I saved, I also found a really sweet post that he sent to the Say What Club (the online mailing list where we met in 1997).
Since Valentine’s Day is almost here, and I currently have a raging case of writer’s block, I thought I’d post these. Now, they are old – the first one was written in Feb. 1999, and the second was sent to the SayWhatClub-World list (I’m not sure if it still exists) in July 1999. I’m not going to change the tense or details, I’m just posting them as he wrote them. Here they are:
Well, it’s February…the time of the year when the folks up north start to think about how much longer winter will last and the ladies begin to think about Valentine’s Day.
Wendi and I are both members of an online hard-of-hearing group, The SayWhatClub. I had joined back in July of ’97 and she came in a couple of months later. I always tried to greet the new members with a personal e-mail and I did so with Wendi.
When she replied I noticed that her positive attitude and cheerfulness just shone right through her words. We started a correspondence that soon revealed we had many things in common…perhaps the most important was the respect that we each felt for the other person.
We fell into the habit of chatting online (once she showed me what that was) and we began to realize that there was something very special in the way we thought about each other and the closeness we developed in our talks. I certainly wasn’t actively looking for anyone and Wendi had enough going on in her life that searching for love was a low-priority item also.
However, when something is meant to be, life will find a way to open even the hardest heart to the ways of love and that is just what happened with us.
We’ve been together for almost a year now and it has been absolute bliss and we have never had any doubts about whether it will last or is this really the real thing. When love is right, you know it.
Happy Valentine’s Day!!!!!
This is the second one, sent to the SWC-W list, on the topic of finding a ‘soul mate’:
…The older we get the more sure we become that we know what this perfect companion will be like. We instinctively seem to know the qualities that our partners should have to complement our own strengths and weaknesses.
The problem lies in our ability to tolerate the differences between the real person and the imaginary one. The longer you’ve spent thinking about what this *soul mate* will be like, the more likely you are to be either surprised or disappointed by the real person. AFAIK, no one has ever just wished for their perfect partner and then found that exact same person.
If a person is willing to let go of their preconceptions, they have a very good chance of finding someone that will fulfill their dreams…just not in quite the way they had imagined. I think the keys here are tolerance and flexibility.
I don’t know why things happen the way the way they do in life. Whoever or whatever is behind the scenes making things happen doesn’t consult me on a reliable schedule…unless my life itself is the answer to all the questions I have. <g>
I’d like to think that life works like the Richard Bach books – Jonathan Livingston Seagull and Illusions. I’d like to think that…so I do. You can see I’m a simple-minded sort of fool.
Now for the story:
When I joined the SWC 2 years ago I was almost 4 years post-transplant and a lot of the problems were easing up. I draw a VA pension so I don’t have to work. I worked on my sister’s house off and on and pretty much did whatever I wanted to.
I didn’t want a relationship…I had remarried my ex-wife after the transplant and that was 15 months of *learning experience*!! Lol
That little episode led me to the conclusions I stated above about the differences between what you get and what you hope for. She was just so sure I was going to make her life perfect and she was sooo disappointed when that didn’t happen.
So at the time I joined the SWC I was pretty much doing what I wanted…playing golf every day…reading…running… whatever I wanted within my means was mine to have.
Was I lonely? Maybe…it’s a little different situation than most because there was always a fair chance that I would die suddenly from some complication of the transplant. I’d seen it happen often enough to people I knew like me. I most definitely was not looking for a relationship nor did I think I would ever have one again. I had resigned myself to living by myself for the rest of my life and making the best of it. Truthfully?? There comes a certain peace of mind when you’ve made a decision like that…to accept things being as they are.
So there I was, all by myself, just got my little WebTV and found the SWC on the web and I was busy being obnoxious as hell (I have a talent for it) and then I met Wendi online when she joined the club.
Now, I’m not going to tell you that lights went on and fireworks started exploding and the skies opened up and the big Fella up there said, “Dave, this is the woman for you…your soul mate and lifelong companion.” But he might as well have.
There was definitely something going on from the first even though I was trying to discourage myself from getting close. When life wants you to go in a certain direction, it’s best to just go. So I did.
I’m not going to bore you with trivial details about how we finally met and all those long nights spent online chatting. But the one thing that stood right out was how often we were both thinking the same thing at the same time. You’ve all seen the web acronym, GMTA, well, that kinda became our own little motto.
Anyhow, the moral of this long rambling post is: sometimes you have to give up searching for what you want in order to find it. Best of luck to everyone who’s still looking!!
So that’s the guy I fell in love with. 🙂 Happy Valentine’s Day, from me and Dave. ❤