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Adventures in Deafness

A few days ago I was getting ready for bed.  Dave had just lain down and I was in the process of taking off my cochlear implant processors, removing the batteries and putting them on the battery charger before I put the processors in our Dry & Store unit.  I was turned away from him but out of the corner of my eye, I saw him jump up from the bed.  He let out a few choice curse words.  Then I heard the buzzing from the bed shaker attached to the AlertMaster.

“What the heck?  Did someone ring our doorbell?”  I left one of my CIs on and went to look out the window.  Dave had already gone to the door to check.  There was nobody there and nobody that we could see in the vicinity of our house.

“Maybe it was kids screwing around, since we put that sign by the doorbell?”  It was just after 10:30 pm and the sign instructed people to use the AlertMaster doorbell after 10:30…maybe we had some pranksters in our neighborhood.  I went back to the room and checked the base unit; there was no red light flashing in the area marked ‘Doorbell’ so I felt pretty confident that nobody had actually rung the bell.

I finished with my CIs, got into bed and Dave joined me a few seconds later.  Then I felt it again.  Pulse Pulse … BZZZZZZZZZ.  What the hell?!  We checked the base unit and, again, no lights were flashing.  Dave turned off the alarm and things stayed quiet after that.

The next night, the same thing happened when Dave got into bed.  I was already in bed and ‘offline’ so I was reading his lips as he explained that he thought something was being triggered by him sitting/lying on the mattress near where the bed shaker was situated.  He moved some things around and thankfully we haven’t had any more unexpected ‘alarms.’

Then yesterday morning, my alarm went off.  This is the Sonic Alert alarm clock that we regularly use when we need to be up early.  The thing is, we didn’t need to be awake early yesterday.  I never set the alarm.

I was sleeping HARD when the alarm went off, so I was really discombobulated.  I looked around in confusion for a few minutes, then grabbed the alarm clock and slid it to the ‘Off’ notch.  It was 6 am and Dave was already up, so I walked, deaf and sleepy, into the living room where he was on his computer.

“Hey hon, do we need to be up early today – did I forget something?”

Dave jumped out of his chair; I had scared the crap out of him.  (He told me later that at first he thought he was hearing the wind outside; maybe I wasn’t talking as loud as I thought I was?!)

Now we were both confused:  Dave because I was wandering around half-awake at 6 am, an hour which usually finds me sound asleep; me because an alarm that had clearly been intentionally set for 6 am had gone off and I couldn’t figure out why.

After we consulted and agreed that there was no good reason for me to be awake (Dave was awake to take his 6 am medicine) I went back to bed.  When I woke up and could think a bit more clearly, I was even more confused.  This is an alarm clock with an indicator on the side that you slide up to either Buzz, Vib (short for Vibrate) or Vib/Buzz.  Buzz means there’s an audible alarm, and that’s a very delicate way of saying it.  It’s more like “Piercing Banshee Wail” than “Buzz.”  So you can choose to have the audible alarm only, vibrate/bed shaking only, or both.  (I don’t bother with the Banshee Wail; it doesn’t wake me up, but it would definitely wake up the rest of the neighborhood!)

So it’s not possible that this alarm was set by, say, a cat paw brushing against it.  You have to grasp the thingy and slide it up to the specific setting you want.  And Dave has no clue how to work this alarm clock, so I know he didn’t set it.  Obviously I was the one who did it, but why?  And when?  I have absolutely no memory of turning the alarm on before bed.  Did I do it in my sleep?  Was I on autopilot and just set the alarm before bed without evening thinking about it?  (WHY??  I almost never use the alarm unless I have to be up extremely early.)

All was well this morning, but I have to admit I’m a little jumpy after so many days of random alarms going off.  I’ll sign this,

“Sleepless in Chicago”

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